As I made my usual walk around the indoor track at the Y today, trying to reach one of those secluded bikes where the local butt sweat admirers can’t find me, I passed by a young man who was stretching with the vigor of Tony Horton. I wasn’t sure if he was new to this game or just drank a few too many Red Bulls before coming in, but I would soon find out…
I continued walking toward my bike, and no sooner had I plopped down than the Horton impersonator came sprinting down the straightaway at the speed of light.
Now considering this stretch of track is only about 60 ft long before it hits a sharp curve, I was wondering what exactly he had in mind for his future. Was this a suicide or homicide attempt in action? If he didn’t turn in time, he would nail me head-on, but if he did turn, he would hit the concrete wall with full force. And you see, I don’t really do blood very well, and searching for teeth scattered across the floor was not on my to-do list for today, so I was almost hoping for the former so I would at least be passed out for the bloody part.
However, thankfully, about two feet before the curve, a light bulb turned on in his head, and he realized he wasn’t a lawnmower who possessed 0 to 180 degree turn capabilities. As he attempted to stop himself, he went not-so-gracefully skidding sideways into the concrete wall.
Thankfully, he didn’t get a busted face (at least not that I could see), but I daresay he did suffer from a pretty badly bruised ego, promptly leaving the track as soon as he reached the stairs back to the gym, head hung in shame and all.
Now I won’t assume to know any better. I will admit there have been times when I’ve been utterly clueless about the equipment at this gym. However, that’s why I generally stick to secluded corners, so I can embrace my incompetence in privacy.
So, tip for the day: take a look around you, and if you’re the only one running 100 mph on a 10 mph course, maybe there’s a reason why. I’m all for trailblazing and taking the road less traveled, but when possible, it’s a whole lot easier to learn from someone else’s mistakes than from your own.
Red Oak Heart 